Question by Tina:
i just had my first kiss and im scared to date because of sex, why?
I am 16 and a girl, with that said Sunday night I had my first kiss. The first night I met the person that I kissed was also the first time we ever met and it was just for about 2 hours. It was at a friend’s house when me him and our mutual friend were all hanging out (not on a dare, we were flirting all night and when he said goodbye we kissed.). I guess I kissed him out of physical attraction and a few known facts, but now I cannot really remember what they looked like. I mean I do but at the same time I don’t, like I know the color of his eyes, his hair his height, his build, but I cant remember the features on his face. I talked to him on the phone for about 4 hours on Monday night, Tuesday we talked all night, and we never talked Wednesday because he fell asleep early because he was tired. I never got board when I talked to him on the phone, and he really likes me. But I am unsure I like him still. I want to kiss him again, but I am not sure if it is just because we kissed once I now can kiss him again and not worry that it’s my first kiss, or if I really do like him. I know he wants to kiss me. I am scared I will really like him because he was my first kiss and because he is a great guy. I feel shallow for feeling unsure about him because I remember he was cute when we met (but we were outside all night so I never really got to get a good good look at him and he had a had on.) but I am not sure how cute he will be to me next time we meet.
The last few days there has seemed to be a lot of mentioning of sex, more apparent to me than normal. Like at school we had a serious in-depth conversation about it, and then on the TV there is always conversation or graphic images relating to sex. Virginity is something I take pride in, I know when I asked him what he wants from me he said a real friend and to stay friends, like if we date and then break up, but he also said he wanted me to be my first. He is also a virgin, or al least a partial one. He asked me what I my opinion on sex was and I told him that I wanted to wait, and we kind of left it at that(this was not the only thing we talked about for all those hours just to be clear). I have never had a relationship and so I am not sure if its normal for a teenagers to discuss this stuff within recently meeting or between people if there is a possible relationship in the making. I mean we are human and he is a teenage boy so it would have to be talked about eventually. I have anxiety so I get nervous about many things that seem small to other people, like that I kissed a guy and now I am not really sure I like him, but at the same time I think I may or could. I am not really sure what I am asking, please help. Give me words of wisdom and things to help me figure out what to think, opinions are good. Thanks
Oh he is 16 also if that helps
Best answer:
Answer by Karen
Don't push yourself for an answer right now as to whether or not you like him. How would you know this? You just met him. He is going to be on his very best behavior in the very beginning and if you guys get to know each other over a longer period of time, you will get to know each other better. Looks aren't everything, you know? He might be a real toad under all this nice stuff.
Also, do not let yourself get pushed into sex. Don't feel like you "have to" or that "every one else is doing it." Also, don't let the guy say "if you loved me, you would." Always remember that if HE loved you, he would not push. I would not advocate any more sex or first time sex discussions. It just makes him feel like this is where the relationship is ultimately heading and that you are agreeing to this.
But at this point, just remember that you just met him and you just need time to get to know him better!
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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Tania Boyd has told the Nine Network that the woman in the ABC's Four Corners report, identified as "Clare'', had boasted to her workmates about bedding several players and only contacted police five days after the alleged incident. "She was absolutely excited about the fact. She was bragging about it to the staff and quite willing, openly saying how she had sex with several players,'' said Ms Boyd. "We were quite disgusted about it. There was no trauma whatsoever. "I'm disgusted that a woman can all of a sudden change her story from having a great time to then turning it into a terrible crime. "One minute she was absolutely bragging about it, she did not know names. These names only came to light to us in the last day. "We all just thought it was hilarious until five days later the police came to work and were horrified she had now changed her story to say she was now a victim of crime. "It was definitely consensual, absolutely. "She is saying she is still traumatised etcetera, well she wasn't for five days, or four days at least, after that affair. "I can't work out what's happened. Does it take five days for it to sink in?'' The woman told the ABC that the night in which she had group sex with several Cronulla players at a Christchurch hotel seven years ago left her with psychological damage and led her to abandoning her studies.
